On February 23 this year, me and Erik celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. In this day and time, that was quite an accomplishment. I can honestly say that at the point we are now, our relationship is stronger and better than it has ever been. We have went through so many good times and hard times, we almost went through a divorce at one point. But we made it through. I am honestly very thankful for the hard years because it got us to where we are now. Marriage or any kind of relationship takes a lot of hard work and devotion. Here are some 'Love Rules' I live by that have got us the point we are now.
Share your life, but also have your own life We have so many things in common. We like to ride motorcycles, we love tattoos and we share a love of the same kind of music. But we also have many interests that we don't share. And that is ok. I don't criticize or put down his own personal ideas or interests and he doesn't mine. He has his own friends, and I have my own friends. Of course we both have mutual friends that we spend time with. But to really be happy in a relationship, you have to let your partner have their own life and you should have your own. I go and do things with my friends without him, and he goes and does things with his friends without me. Wouldn't a relationship be boring if you both liked all the same things?
Stop the criticism This is a big one. Women are mostly guilty of this but a lot of men do it to. No one wants to hear constant nagging or put downs from their partner. Everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes. next time you think about being critical to your spouse, stop yourself and replace that negativity with a positive compliment. For example, instead of saying "you are so lazy" replace that with "I appreciate everything you do for me". If you uplift your partner instead of putting them down, they will feel good about themselves and want to do more thing for you. You have to remember, in a marriage you have to love an imperfect person perfectly.
Be best friends To have a lasting relationship, you have to be friends. Of course when you start a relationship you have to become friends. But as time goes by, most couples lose that friendship. A best friend is someone who is loyal, honest, and trustworthy. I'm sure you have heard the saying to have a friend you must be a friend. This is especially true in marriage. If you exhibit good qualities in your self, show him/her that you are loyal, trustworthy and they will give it back. I really enjoy spending time with my husband. I love going places with him and doing things together with him. He's funny, smart, and has a huge heart. What else could I possibly ask for in a friend?
Be kind I know this goes along with being friends and stop criticising one another. But isn't love kindness in action? Being in love makes you want to be kind and when you are kind to your spouse, wouldn't they want to be around you more. Say encouraging words to your spouse, do nice things for them without being asked and show them compassion. Don't be selfish, put your spouses needs alongside with your own.
Forgive Above anything else, this is the most important one. Your relationship will never last if you don't learn to forgive. Nothing is unforgivable.Real love is unconditional. Everyone makes mistakes. I have done many things that have hurt my husband and he has done the same. We realized that our life together and our love was strong enough that all those hurts were small, in comparison to the amazing life we have shared together. As I mentioned before, in a marriage you have to love an imperfect person perfectly. Of course, some things are unforgivable and I'm not saying be a doormat. Don't constantly dwell on their past mistakes and don't throw them up in their face every opportunity you get. Forgive, forget, and move on. After all, doesn't love conquer all.
I hope these 'Love Rules' help, If you have any tips on keeping a relationship strong, list them below. I look forward to reading your comments!
My Erik and Me